The Inner Workings of My twisted Mind...

  W hat is life , B ut a collection of moments A bundle of emotions A thread of relations A n infinity of happiness in a single hug A n aching heart when a loved one is lost The big grand gestures aren't oft remembered with the same warmth Of the childhood games played Of the nights spent talking Eating raw cake batter That knowing smile across a room Finding the one who knows you as you The first time I held my child And the second time around Knowing you would never know love like this again Hearing your children laugh Watching them learn,fall and grow and do that some more. Life goes on, The memories stay on in our minds And when we turn to dust They stay on in the hearts of the ones we loved And who loved us in return.

  H ave you ever had this feeling in your heart A feeling there was something missing, M issing a part A feeling in your soul T hat you weren't quite so whole. F eel so heavy Bursting at the sea ms S till so empty there's nothing left to give H ave you ever had that feeling L ike you're not quite there I n a room full of people But the noise disappears Inside you that one voice is so loud But you aren't quite sure what it's going on about. Tossing and turning in my bed So fixated yet unaware Thoughts abundant So unclear Within me, every day everywhere.

 It's windy up here It's cold, some would say unforgiving  Harsh and distant But they don't know  what she's been living She's a home to many A shelter away from this world A place to go when they need freeing  She's been crushed by forces  But she just gets taller Higher than the world can reach The winds they blow, the rivers they flow Carving though her  People they come Tread upon her and plunder. Yet she provides for them In abdundance Stand strong as a mountain they say  Undeterred, unchanging  But so much has changed So much has changed And there's no undoing.

Once upon a time there was a little story. She was a story without an ending,many had tried to find an ending fit for her, but to no avail. Each person came and added a little bit of their stories to her...made her sad, made her happy, made her pensive, made her question things. She took a little bit of each of their stories and added to her own..and she left a little of hers with them. Over time she grew, but she constantly had a feeling that she wasn't all her. That she was a little of them...all of them...and this made her sad and made her question whether she could ever truly be only herself. Was she wrong in having a little bit of them..was she not unique anymore, was she just another copy? She searched for her ending, for her finale, her reveal for years. And while she looked she encountered many other people who saw fit to add to her. Try as she may , some part of their stories always stuck, and she became bigger and older. Then one day she was almost out of mor...

The pictures we see Are just a fleeting glimpse into their world Not a peek into their soul You may come to believe in their happiness In their joy and success But it may have lasted only for that second captured by the lens They may have believed in it too Such is the façade of social media Making us believe in a world that does not exist like a colourful fountain masking the true nature of the water it illuminates Happy faces and declarations of love of everlasting joy and pride; of gratitude and accomplishments. I wonder how many of these are heartfelt And how many messages were preceded by actual conversations with real people Did they thank their parents just on the social platform Or did they also treat them with respect and love through out Did they say they were proud of their child for the world to see Or did he feel that way even when he hadn’t achieved goals “worthy enough” for the world to see Did they declare their undying love ...

If I could just stop Stop and look back, At all those times, that have gone by At all those times that I have laughed Laughed wholeheartedly without a care in the world And at the times that I have cried Cried like it was the end of everything. Gone back to a time,without facade Without pretense, without the shackles of propriety If I could savour every second, like it was the last If I could prolong each happy moment a little longer And relive the sadder ones, for they made me stronger. If I could go back, and undo all my regrets. But alas! Each moment has gone by like a grain of sand falling unwillingly through an hour glass. If only, I could peek into the future Peek through the looking glass of life If only I could know Know for certain,that my dreams would come true Know that I would be able to hold onto my loved ones, until I was ready Ready to let them go. If only I could know That I would be, everything that I want for me. If I could look beyond my tim...